Aboard a CAPITAL SHIP of the Shi’Ar Empire, DAREDEVIL, DEADPOOL, MS. MARVEL, and IRON MAN race to confront DEATHBIRD, who has already set in motion the SHIP’s self-destruct sequence. As precious time slips away, the heroes come across the recently-deposed Empress, LILANDRA, who is quite conveniently being held captive in the hallway the heroes must traverse to reach DEATHBIRD.
DAREDEVIL: Empress Lilandra! How fortuitous that Deathbird chose to imprison you in this particular hallway, instead of in the brig! Hold still while we smash up this computer console, thereby setting you free!
DAREDEVIL begins to punch and kick the CONSOLE, which is reluctant to give way. On the other side of the hallway, a couple of SHI’AR SOLDIERS appear on the other side of a FORCE FIELD, and begin firing upon the heroes. The FORCE FIELD blocks all of the SOLDIERS’ attacks.
DAREDEVIL: Criminy! This computer console is tough! Could I get a little help over here, guys? Maybe if we all beat on it together we can destroy it and free Lilandra with enough time to still stop Deathbird!
DEADPOOL, MS. MARVEL, and IRON MAN all run to the other side of the hallway and attempt to beat on the sequestered, harmless SOLDIERS to no avail.
DAREDEVIL: Okay, guys? We’re seriously running out of time here!
DEADPOOL: So leave her there! It clearly says that saving her is an optional quest.
DAREDEVIL: An optional what?! We can’t just leave her, we’re heroes, saving people is part of our job description!
DEADPOOL: So is beating up inconsequential bad guys!
DEADPOOL continues his vain attempts to beat up the inconsequential bad guys on the other side of the FORCE FIELD.
DAREDEVIL: I knew we shouldn’t have brought the insane guy along… Iron Man, Ms. Marvel! Please, help me free Lilandra so we can continue on our way to stopping this entire ship from exploding in one minute!
MS. MARVEL and IRON MAN remain next to the FORCE FIELD, trying to attack the SOLDIERS with DEADPOOL.
DAREDEVIL: Okay, now this is just uncalled for! You think just because I’m blind I can’t tell that you guys are ignoring me? I’ve got sonar sense! Hello!? We’ve all got about 30 seconds left to live now, because you guys won’t help me out! Come on, Iron Man! You’re supposed to be one of the smartest men on Earth, are you seriously not able to figure out that you can’t harm those soldiers through the force field? Ms. Marvel, you have super strength, you could have beat this computer into scrap in about 5 seconds!
The TIMER ticks to 0:00, the SHIP’s corridors fill with ominous red light, and the deck begins to rumble violently beneath the heroes’ feet. DEADPOOL, MS. MARVEL, and IRON MAN continue their assault upon the FORCE FIELD while DAREDEVIL sits wearily down, his back against the computer console that has thwarted him.
DAREDEVIL: I survived having radioactive waste splashed across my face. I overcame a handicap to become a lawyer and one of the world’s premier superheroes. I’ve fought the Kingpin, Bullseye, and the Punisher… and this is how it ends?
DAREDEVIL takes one last “look” at the other heroes, as they batter themselves against the FORCE FIELD.
DAREDEVIL: Apparently with great power comes great stupidity.
The SHIP explodes. FRED throws his CONTROLLER across the ROOM and SWEARS like a SAILOR.